Funny Jokes about Assassination

CNN Political Ticker: All politics, all the time Blog Archive - Huckabee jokes about Obama ducking a gunman « - Blogs from CNN.com

(CNN) – During a speech before the National Rifle Association convention Friday afternoon in Louisville, Kentucky, former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee — who has endorsed presumptive GOP nominee John McCain — joked that an unexpected offstage noise was Democrat Barack Obama looking to avoid a gunman.

“That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he’s getting ready to speak,” said the former Arkansas governor, to audience laughter. “Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor.”

Eddie Murphy did a pretty good bit on this one…lemme see if I can find it…

Ahh, here we are…

Obvious News of the Day (Saudis, Oil, Israel)

Saudis see no reason to raise oil production now - Yahoo! News

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia’s leaders made clear Friday they see no reason to increase oil production until customers demand it, apparently rebuffing President Bush amid soaring U.S. gasoline prices.

It was Bush’s second personal appeal this year to King Abdullah, head of the monarchy that rules this desert kingdom that is a longtime prime U.S. ally and home to the world’s largest oil reserves. But Saudi officials stuck to their position that they will only pump more oil into the system when asked to by buyers, something they say is not happening now, the president’s national security adviser told reporters.

This was a big part of Bush’s mideast trip. The funny part that the other part was to go and praise Israel and everything they do.

JERUSALEM - President Bush said Wednesday that 60 years of Israel’s existence is cause for optimism for democratic change throughout the Middle East. “What happened here is possible everywhere,” Bush said, opening a trip divided between ceremonial duties and a new push for Israeli-Palestinian peace.

“I suspect if you looked back 60 years ago and tried to guess where Israel would be at that time, it would be hard to be able to project such a prosperous, hopeful land,” Bush said during a meeting with Israeli President Shimon Peres. “No question, people would have said, ‘We’d be surrounded by hostile forces.’”

Yet Bush’s message of optimism was immediately offset by troubling realities in the region.

Israel confirmed plans to expand settlement activity in the West Bank, a development likely to undermine peace talks with Palestinians. A weakened Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert fended off corruption allegations. And another burst of violence erupted in the Gaza Strip just ahead of Bush’s arrival in Israel.

[full story]

I’m not sure if a country dominated by a particular religion, having a 40-year occupation of another religion, having secret nuclear weapons, a history of pre-emptively attacking her neighbors, and occasionally assassinating whoever they want is exactly the example we are looking for here. Yes, sure, people get to go out and party (which is a big deal), but to act like Israel is the end-all be-all of Middle Eastern civilization is a bit of stretch.

And that’s a decent part of why the Saudi’s and like “meh” when it comes to sending more oil (and they are bathing in cash right now, which tends to silence the pleas of others).

CBS See’s Net as Useful

CNets Allure for CBS: Both Are Laggards - Bits - Technology - New York Times Blog

So CNet is finally being bought.

In January, I wrote a post called “The Problem With CNet: No One Wants to Buy It.” Every Internet and media company has looked closely at CNet. They are intrigued because it is a leader in its category of tech news and reviews, with some good technology and brands. But it is growing slowly, and its cost base is so high that its profit margins are meager. And the asking price, which hovered between $1 billion and $2 billion, scared off all the potential buyers.

So what is different for CBS, which announced today that it will pay $1.8 billion for CNet?

For one, CBS is also a company with well-known brands and sluggish growth. So CNet adds some luster to CBS, even if it would drag down other theoretical buyers like Yahoo.

Interestingly, on a conference call with investors this morning, CBS said that its own Internet properties — like Sportsline and the Web site for the Grammy Awards — are actually growing faster than CNet is.

Pretty good analysis of the brands and deal there.  Bascially CBS is paying an absolute crapload for some good domain names.  C-Net has been a solid ‘net brand for a long time, but never really jumped into the huge category.  I have serious doubts that CBS will do amazing things with the properties, but have tv.com and news.com in your stable of properties should be beneficial for an old-scheel TV business with a long term news brand.

Some of The Reasons I Can’t Vote for McCain

The Associated Press: McCain outlines vision of Iraq victory

“By January 2013, America has welcomed home most of the servicemen and women who have sacrificed terribly so that America might be secure in her freedom. The Iraq War has been won,” he told an audience of several hundred here in the capital city of a general election battleground state.

I though we were going to be done with the “it is the way I say it is, reality be damned” attitude.   If he was saying, “By 2013, I expect oil to cost $201.30.”  I still don’t personally understand how it is my freedom being defended in Iraq (i.e. the frontline of the War on Terror), but I do see how that same war is costing me freedom here at home.

Later, as he drove to the airport on his “Straight Talk Express” campaign bus, McCain was peppered by reporters with questions about the timetable. He and his aides insisted there was a difference between ending the war and bringing troops home and, as they criticize the Democrats, announcing a withdrawal upfront without regard for the military endgame.

“It’s not a timetable; it’s victory. It’s victory, which I have always predicted. I didn’t know when we were going to win World War II; I just knew we were going to win,” McCain said.

When this guy talks about World War II in the present tense, like he was there…it’s because he was.  How old is this dude again?

The Vietnam veteran added: “I know from experience, you set a day for surrender — which is basically what you do when you say you are withdrawing — and you will pay a much a heavier price later on.”

Yes, much like how when we finally pulled out of Vietnam, Communism swept the world and now we are on our knees in front of the Global Communist Domination of SouthEast Asia, and there are Vietnamese blowing themselves up here nearly every day in their quest to kill the U.S.

Oh, wait…you mean we are at peace with them, and have good relations?

(CNN) — Visitors to Ho Chi Minh City in southern Vietnam are struck by its frenetic pace, by the modern skyscrapers, by stores bulging with goods and by streets teeming with industrious Vietnamese.

At night young men and women cruise the neon-lit streets of the former Saigon on shiny Honda motorbikes, gathering in coffee bars, discos and restaurants where they are serenaded by the beeps and chirps of their cell phones.

[full story]

I wonder if McCain forgot all about that stuff and has some sort of alternate history in mind when he used Vietnam as a good reason to stay in Iraq.

And speaking on 9/11….

In particular, he sees a world in which the Taliban threat in Afghanistan has been greatly reduced.

He added: “The increase in actionable intelligence that the counterinsurgency produced led to the capture or death of Osama bin Laden, and his chief lieutenants. … There still has not been a major terrorist attack in the United States since Sept. 11, 2001.”

We’ve already killed about 7 number threes, so this has happened already.  I wonder if McCain was napping.  The fact that he’s still talking about the Taliban points to serious issues regarding how bad Bush sucked…and why McCain sticking with Bush’s war policy is retarded at best.

There is one place McCain divides from Bush however…

McCain also pledged to halt a Bush administration practice of enacting laws with accompanying signing statements that exempt the president from having to enforce parts he finds objectionable.

You mean the Bush administration practice of wiping its ass with the Constitution?  Yea, we should certainly stop doing that…I’d have more respect for the “Maverick” if he intended to prosecute them for those indiscretions, but my guess is a pardon is much more likely.  And that’s why I can’t vote for him.

Helen Thomas on the Media and the War

People can handle the truth about war

That makes me wonder why the media have shied away from telling the story about Iraqi civilian casualties. News people and editors were more courageous during the Vietnam War. What are they afraid of now?

Who can forget the shocking picture of the little Vietnamese girl running down a road, aflame from a napalm attack?

And who can forget the picture of South Vietnamese Police Chief Nguyen Ngoc Loan putting a gun to the temple of a young member of the Viet Cong and executing him on a Saigon street?

I don’t remember any American outcry against the media for showing the horror of war when those photographs were published. Were we braver then? Or maybe more conscience stricken?

Of course, the Pentagon did not enjoy such images coming out of Saigon in that era. Most Americans found them appalling, as further evidence of our misbegotten venture in Vietnam. Americans rallied to the streets in protest and eventually persuaded President Lyndon Johnson to give up his dreams of re-election in 1968.

Some Americans believe the media were to blame for the U.S. defeat in Vietnam. Nonsense.

Johnson knew the war was unwinnable, especially after the 1968 Tet offensive and the request by Army Gen. William Westmoreland for 200,000 more troops, in addition to the 500,000 already in Vietnam.

The Pentagon made a command decision after the Vietnam War to get better control of the dissemination of information in future wars. That led then-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to create an office of disinformation at the start of the Iraqi war. It was later disbanded after howls from the media.

More recently, we have seen the Pentagon’s propaganda efforts take the form of carefully coaching retired generals about how to spin the Iraq war when they appear on television as alleged military experts. The New York Times’ revelations about those pet generals have cast a pall over their reputations.

Too often in this war, the news media seem to have tried to shield the public from the suffering this war has brought to Americans and Iraqis.

It’s not the job of the media to protect the nation from the reality of war. Rather, it is up to the media to tell the people the truth. They can handle it.

Pretty nice rant from Grandma Thomas.  There has been a concerted effort, now well documented, for the Pentagon to control information that flows out of the warzone (embedding), and a concerted effort to spin that information when it gets here (GeneralGate).

In general (ha!), however, these are no more than delaying actions (perhaps that is their only purpose…) and the realities of war eventually filter in, as they did re: Abu Ghraib.   

War ain’t pretty.  It never has been.

The Media’s Campaign

West Wing: The Media’s Mini-Truths - International - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News

A journalist’s twin points of references should be the real and the important. But for months the focus of the election coverage was on trivia. Every insignificant detail got blown out of proportion, with every chipmunk becoming a Godzilla. According to a report by the Project for Excellence in Journalism, over 60 percent of election coverage by the US media has been focused on campaign strategies, tactics or personalities — but not on actual political content.

 

Reporters focused the most attention on such pressing questions as whether Barack Obama was wearing an American flag lapel pin, whether John McCain had a mistress eight years ago or whether former first lady Hillary Clinton was incorrectly recalling her 1996 trip to Bosnia.

Clinton claimed to recall hearing sniper fire as her plane landed in Bosnia. In fact, as archive TV footage later showed, Clinton was actually greeted by a young girl who recited a poem on the tarmac. That may have been embarrassing for Hillary Clinton, but it is insignificant for voters.

Even the eccentric pastor from Obama’s church, Jeremiah Wright, is not worth the fuss. “God damn America,” he preached. So what? The priest at my Catholic church was a reactionary, while my class teacher was a communist. Perhaps the mad and the blind to the right and the left of our path through life are there simply to show us where the middle way is.

Solid criticism from the Continent on the U.S. Presidential Campaign.  Pretty striaghtforward criticism of the media focusing on the sizzle and not the steak.  When the majority of political coverage involved how the pundits feel about the candidates, rather than what those candidates themselves stand for, it’s not a good thing, particularly.

This is more symptomatic of how the U.S. public has been trained to consume media than anythning else, IMHO.  When the sizzle gets ratings and the steak makes people change the channel, you can bet your bottom dollar it’s the sizzle that gets the coverage.

Obama Takes Over Super-D’s

Obama takes the lead in superdelegate count - CNN.com

Sen. Barack Obama has surpassed Sen. Hillary Clinton in the race for superdelegates, according to CNN’s latest count.

Obama on Monday picked up endorsements from Maine Rep. Tom Allen and Dolly Strazar, a superdelegate from Hawaii.

“Most of the primary voters across the nation have now spoken. It is time to bring a graceful end to the primary campaign,” Allen said.

“We now need to unify the Democratic Party and focus on electing Sen. Obama and a working majority in the United States Senate. That is how we can change the direction of the country,” said Allen, who is also a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

He said Obama and Clinton are both “supremely qualified to be president.”

Good to hear these folks are finally falling in line with the front-runner.  As each super-delegate gives in, the door closes on Mrs. Clinton…and by now it should be pretty much slammed shut.

Dark Sector :: Game Review :: XBOX 360

It was good to spend some time back in full ninja mode.  Never before have I seen such a slow moving ninja, but eventually I was able to get around like the best of ‘em.  The secret is fairly constant use of the A button.

The Basics:

Dark Sector is a third person violence fest with an over-the-shoulder view.  The gameplay is along the lines of Resident Evil 4 (RE4), with the Halo health system and some Gears of War cover action.  The addition to this type of gameplay, and a newish weapon to play with, is the “glaive”.  I’m calling it the glaive because that’s what they called it in Krull and that’s where the idea came from.  It’s never really explained why you have a glaive, and not ninja stars, or nunchucks, so some other cool implements of death, but the glaive works and eventually it works quite well.

The Story?

You are one of the infected (some sort of goverment/business defense research).  As the story progresses, so does your infection and you track down the doctor who created the virus.  The mood and storyline are also very much along the Doom 3 lines of demons/infected and a mastermind at the end.  You kill stuff, you fight special bosses and the story moves on.

You continue to gain abilities as you move through the very linear storyline and get your personal weapon upgrades out of the “black market” that is a very direct homage to the weapon upgrade system in RE4.  I was able to complete the game without getting enough cash to buy the final handheld weapon, but my trusty AK with full upgrades made good work when needed.

The Glaive:

The glaive is one of the first automatic upgrades that you get as the game progresses.  You soon gain the ability to control in bullet time the flight of the glaive, learn to embue it with various elements (fire, cold, electricity) and even make the thing blow up on command.  As your timing with the glaive get better, it is possible to through a “super-glaive” that is orange.  Orange means dangerous, as limbs and heads flow much faster with the organge glaive.

You also get random (to you) upgrades, including a very handy force shield, and finally the ability to go momentarily invisible.  This is useful for the finishing moves that also cause of lot of limbs/bloods/energy to flow.

The Gameplay:

The game is divided into 10 chapter, leading up to a final confrontation with the big boss.  Most of the chapters conlcude in a  pitched battle with a boss character, many taking particular combination of glaive power-ups, boosts, and finishing moves to defeat.

You will die, and you will die often.  Enemy are plentiful, if a bit dense.  They’ll take cove but stick to it, and group tactics seem well beyond the AI.  There’s not a lot of variety in the targets, but those that do make the grade and nicely animated, including demons that hop with the agility of, well, the demons in Doom 3.   Once they land, however, they become pretty slow moving targets, fighting with a steady barage of energy shotgun blasts.

Working a combination of the glaive and standard weapons, the game avoids drudgery with a bit of variety with locals, short vehicle sequences, and some wonderfully rendered cut-scenes.  All in the graphics do a good job of displaying the on-screen action, and let you know who and what is likely to kill you wkith splotches and vibrations.

There are a few moments of dread, albeit, less than RE4, and some excellent ambiance.

Conclusion:

A workable action title, easily finishable within a week rental.  The game is fun enough, although breaks no real new bounds. The artwork fits the theme of a dark and nasty base, replete with ruins, sewers and the test labs.

I’ll give it a 7.4 out of 10.

And I got 605 out of 1000 achievement points.

Here’s the Clinton Solution

Facing her doubters, Clinton remains stoic - International Herald Tribune

Joanne Drewry, 47, a contractor in Shepherdstown, stood in the back of the crowd holding a pole with six Clinton posters stapled to it. She said she was disappointed in the results Tuesday and believed that it meant the end of Clinton’s presidential ambitions, at least this year.

But she said she hoped that Obama would offer Clinton the vice-presidential nomination and that she would accept it.

The money quote, as it were, comes at the end of the article.  I think this is a very equitable solution, and it’s the one I proposed a looong time ago.    From the tone of the article it looks like HIllary is finally reading the writing on the wall (and in the ballot box).   This should be over soon.

Mmm, Insect Sex

Sundance Channel : Green Porno

This is just flat out weird.  I mean, even stranger than the islanders I met that used to bang fish for fun.  And I don’t mean against rocks.